St. Charles Mom Gives Back To Kane County’s Tiniest Residents

ST. CHARLES—When 5 -year -old Violet Whittenhall was born, her tiny diaper fit in the palm of her mother’s shaking hand.

Born at 29 weeks, and weighing 2 pounds, 7 ounces, the now bubbly blonde spent the first 80 days of her life not in her St. Charles home, but in hospital—her body tethered to monitors and noisy machines.

While some babies were mastering the art of rolling over, Violet’s mom, Michelle Whittenhall, marked milestones in a much different way: First bottle without spitting up, or the day Violet’s nose tubes were taken out and she could finally see her baby girl’s face.

None of these milestones were ones she expected to experience.

“I’m an accountant,” Whittenhall said. “I like things to be precise.”
So when her routine doctor’s appointment turned into a hospital detour, and then an emergency C-section to save both baby and mom, precision was put on the back burner.

“It was a surreal experience. Going in, I had a plan. I thought I’d deliver without complications,” she said. With images of blissful skin-to-skin contact and bonding over breastfeeding in her head, Whittenhall had to throw out all former hopes for the birth she had pictured so perfectly.

“When I was wheeled to the (neonatal intensive care unit), they brought me over to this little box. I couldn’t even touch her,” Whittenhall said. “I just started weeping. I didn’t even recognize her. You think you should instinctively know.”

As tiny Violet learned to thrive on her own in the NICU, the baby blues set in for her exhausted mom. Whittenhall and her husband spent nearly three months making the hour-long commute to Loyola until their daughter was well enough to come home.

But even there, struggles presented themselves. Whittenhall spent months in the NICU watching machines that monitored her daughter’s every breath and heart beat. Now, it was up to the first time parents to care for their infant without the help of a team of doctor’s and NICU nurses.

Whittenhall spent several sleepless nights watching her daughter’s chest rise and fall before she grew comfortable enough to close her eyes.

These days, the mom of two still wishes she could close her eyes, but for a different reason— she’s got a bustling young Violet to keep a watchful eye on, and she’s back at work as an accountant with RSM in Rockford.

Life has returned to normal for Whittenhall, but even five years after Violet left the NICU, the experience is still on her mind.

“Not everyone was as fortunate as I was. Some people stayed much longer. Some didn’t get to take their babies home at all,” she said.

Which is why when her employer, RSM, put its annual call out for employees to pursue their passions with $10,000 and time off to complete their goal, Whittenhall knew exactly where her passion lie—in the NICU.

Nine company winners were chosen from across the country, and Whittenhall was one.

Others were awarded the money and time to restore a new car that never got finished, or travel to other countries and visit family. Whittenhall, however, plans to give her cash away.

“It’s kind of funny how a certain experience can take you down a path you had never foreseen,” she said. “I never thought I’d be putting together care packages for 30 different NICUs.”

Small gifts given during Violet’s stay ended up meaning so much to the scared mother. Whether in the form of blankets or new stories to read, the gestures let Whittenhall feel like she was being seen.

“Coming in to visit and having something like that waiting for you can brighten your day,” she said. “You could be having a horrible day and then you realize someone out there is thinking of you and that you’re not alone.”

Add COVID-19 restrictions into the NICU mix and things get increasingly more stressful, Whittenhall said.

“Disallowing parents to be in person and see and touch their infant, while necessary during COVID, will absolutely have a detrimental effect on the parents’, especially the mother’s, mental health and stress,” Whittenhall said. “Parents need to know that they are not alone, that someone outside the hospital understands their mental load and cares about their situation.”

So, instead of responding to the company’s “Pursue Your Passion” call out with ideas to help herself, Whittenhall decided exactly how she’d want the money spent: On hundreds of new diaper bags filled with everything a NICU parent might need. Think ice packs and bags to tote breastmilk, water bottles, lip balms, sanitizer, a book, sound machine and other necessities to “make things more comfortable so they can focus on getting baby well and getting baby home.”

She’ll also add a personal letter to each care package and a journal for parents to document their own NICU journeys at Kane County and other area hospitals.

“Even if it’s a stranger, if someone reaches out and can share and empathize with your experience it can make a huge difference,” Whittenhall said. “In the grand scheme of things, a care package is a small gesture, but one that I believe will positively impact local families and have an inspirational effect.

“I know from experience, a little encouragement and love goes a long way in any hospital unit, especially in NICU.”