Loving and Praying have much in Common

Loving and praying have surprisingly much in common. Both are affairs of the heart. Both focus upon a significant other. Both seek a response from the beloved, one in consonance with the heart’s petitions. Both require patience and faith. People can be slow to respond, yet need to be believed in for the sake of the sheer survival of the relationship. Sometimes we love on in spite of the absence of the desired response from our loved one; just so, we are urged from above to persevere in prayer, even in the face of apparent non-response. With both loving and praying, you just have to keep on keeping on, for they can become the two most significant elements of you daily life.

Canned prayers are about as effective as a canned speech in eliciting what we are seeking from our loved one: an audience, a present presence.

As love needs to be unconditional, so does prayer. Regardless of circumstances, you continue to love the other, whether a child, partner or friend. Love somehow has a way of rising above situational realities, even if affected by them. Just so, we are called to pray without ceasing, regardless of the situational realities.

Love is difficult to attain and maintain. Satisfying mutual love is even more difficult, and all the more meaningful. Prayer is ever difficult to attain and maintain. Satisfying mutual prayer, which includes a calming and comforting sense of the presence of the Other, is even more difficult, and all the more meaningful. All it takes is the briefest of intuitions of the Beloved being there, listening, maybe evening praying in you as you seek to pray in and to the Other, and your life can be changed forever. For many of us, it is that seemingly chance singular encounter with the holy, which stays with and strengthens us many, if not all our days.

Satisfactory prayer means prayer which apparently has been heard, prayer which brooks some kind of response from above. It may not be what we thought we were praying for, but nevertheless, we feel heard, maybe even loved in the hearing. The same goes with loving: we seek love in response to our love. Not as if we love another in order to receive their response in like kind; but if it is not forthcoming, our unrequited love will begin a slow process of withering on the vine.

As loving another has a history which helps determine your expectations of the other, so also praying to the Other has a history which establishes what you expect and to whom you are praying.

It is important to become disciplined in praying, day in and day out. Some days are easier and more satisfying than others; some days are dry, stale toast days, good for nothing but crushing into croutons or batter mix. The same holds true for loving: some days are sandpaper, rubbing our tender feelings and hopes raw, generating nasty questions about the worth and satisfactory end of our seemingly futile endeavors. Other days are rich in liquid loving, cleansing and renewing our hearts and moving happily into our hallowed place of remembrance.

Loving moves easily into praying for your loved one. Likewise, praying moves readily into loving, both God and those for whom we pray.

The end of loving is as assured as the end of prayer: the rewards will more than justify the perseverance.