Moms Talk: Are Students Applying to Too Many Colleges?

Here is something that the kids (both occupants and visitors) in this household are sick of hearing:

I applied to two colleges.

I attended two colleges, earning an A.A. from one, and a B.A. from the other.

I graduated from two colleges. (County College of Morris, and New York University).

That was it. Minimal stress, limited time spent on applying, or wrestling with decisions. The first was chosen for economic reasons, the second was my personal choice, with input from no one. I attended N.Y.U. part-time, while earning tuition as a reporter, and then finished up full-time just to get it over with.

I realize that things inevitably are different for students graduating well into the 21st century. I never took an SAT prep test, although my scores were good enough to get me into N.Y.U., and even skip the English 101 requirement.

However, my both sons did take some sort of SAT prep classes, and also sat through practice tests, which I think is at least as important. I certainly wouldn't have wanted them to miss that opportunity, especially since some students have been preparing for years!

Still, the process of applying for colleges was a nightmare with the older son, and I am a breaking out into a bit of a cold sweat at the prospect of going through it a second time.

We had some wrinkles in our personal situation, but for me, the point where I realized the process had turned absurd was when my older son was accepted at a college where he didn't remember applying.

He had filed a bulk application to California universities and colleges, although in reality he only had his eye on one, a definite "reach" school, as it's known in current jargon, with some interest in a second on the list.

But then one day, the letter arrived from Long Beach State, congratulating him on his acceptance, with instructions for his arrival.

The conversation went like this.

"You're accepted at Long Beach State! Do you want to go there?"

"No."

"Do you remember applying there?"

"No."

I also realize from my recently graduated neighbor that the college competition for acceptances seems to have become keener in the past few years. Is that something you're seeing?

Her perspective was that students must apply to more colleges than in the past since there's no guarantee you will be accepted, even if you're qualified.

Still, when I hear advice that students should apply to multiple "reach" schools — including a number where they have almost no chance of being accepted — and also several back up schools — at least some of which they don't really want to attend — I wonder if an unnecessary amount of hair-tearing has been added to the ordeal of college applications.

There's also a lot of time and expense involved in waves of applications, although I do think it might be a good idea to apply first to a lesser choice just to "practice" going through the process.

But is it really worth applying to more than one or two "dream" choices? And does your student really know that they would love those school as much in reality? How much time should be spent visiting colleges that aren't a real-life prospect, either from a viewpoint of grades or cost?

Should you apply to colleges and universities you can't afford, and then get your student's hopes up? What if they are accepted to their first choice, but get a crummy aid package?

And do should you base your choice on athletic programs? Athletic commitments are a great way to get aid, but should other considerations carry more weight?

And what's really important on applications? One more piece of preparation I'll be adding the second time around is taking the ACT tests. Not only are those tests gaining in importance, but I've heard they provide an opportunity for a student who may not shine on the SAT to post a higher score on a different type of test.

Earlier this year, school officials reported that more Ridge High School students are taking the ACT than in the past. SAT subject tests also seem to be gaining in popularity.

Of course, that's more testing for your kid. And ACT prep classes, relatively rare even a few years ago, seem to popping up everywhere.

When will your son or daughter reach the point where they've had enough?

And when it comes to filing college applications, how many are too many?

Should you cap the number of "reach" schools? Do you have a realistic picture of the college or university where you're seeking acceptance? Have you talked to other students who went to that school?

What happens if you are accepted to multiple colleges with equal appeal? Is it a nightmare for some people to make a choice under those cirumstances? Will your son or daughter be devastated if they have their heart set on a certain school and don't get in? Or will they shrug it off, as my son did when he didn't get into his "reach" choice?

And how about those fall-back colleges? Do you really want to head off and start a new life someplace that's not that appealing? Why not go to Raritan Valley Community College or a modest in-state college for a year, and keep trying to gain acceptance to a school you really want to attend?

As it turned out for my older son, he applied to his first choice on the East coast almost at the last minute. He sent out his application to the College of Charleston and apparently received an acceptance letter almost as soon as it arrived, to become one of the first Ridge graduates to attend that now-popular destination. (Although I must say, he did write a great college essay by then, which was tailored specifically to the South, rather than as a generic piece of bragging.)

By the way, do you give enough attention to details such as college essays? I worked with one friend of my younger son on developing his ideas for his essay and he was accepted by his first choice! Do students sometimes underplay the value of such extra efforts?

What road will you take when your student is applying to college?

I'm determined to stick to four or five applications at most the second time around. Is that limiting my son's prospects, or a way to keep the college application process at least relatively sane?

What are you planning to do? If you've been through this before, do you think you did it the right way?

Or are you shaking your head, wondering why in the world you made yourself and your student jump through so many needless hoops?

Please tell us below in the comments section!