Community Remembers Girl, 10, Lost In Crash Before 1st Day Of School

GREENPORT, NY —Saturday will mark three long, pain-filled years since Amber Stulsky, 10, was killed in a Greenport crash while out shopping for supplies on the night before the first day of school — she would have been starting fifth grade.

Her memory fills hearts on the North Fork, as family and friends continue to mourn her unthinkable loss.

"Keeping her memory alive is important to me," said Amber's aunt Amanda Stulsky. "I have pictures on my wall and I keep one in my car. She was a true joy to be around — and there's not a day that goes by that I don't miss my niece."

Two of her sons have written songs in Amber's honor, Stulsky said. "The pain is just as present today as it was three years ago," she said.

On Saturday, Stulsky said she'd like to schedule a lantern release with her children and her brother Jason, Amber's father.

Looking ahead to Saturday, Amanda said, "We will save a seat for her at dinner and share our favorite memories, as well as look at pictures."

Southold mom Erin Bednoski, who arranged an event in honor of Amber last year, on the night before the first day of school — said this year, she will be doing a charity drive, as she has done in years' past, to honor Amber's birthday on December 3.

On what would have been Amber's 12 birthday, Bednoski and her daugher Abbi pledged to donate 12 pairs of winter boots in her honor; they collected more than 20 pairs. They also did rock painting in 2020 to remember Amber on the night before school started — and the kids took them to school the first day and decorated a garden, she said.

As for the charity drive, Bednoski said: "Each year we pledge the number that Amber would turn," she said. "The coat drive last year was huge! I think we collected 88 of them."

Reflecting on the loss, Bednoski, whose youngest daughter, Abbi, was Amber's friend, said the pain echoes.

"It hurts, still. My youngest is going into the grade Amber would have been when she died. I look at her every day, the innocence of her age, and am reminded of how precious life is. Just another reminder of how unfair it is that she is gone," she said. "I look at my own children and see how they have grown over the last three years. I don’t know what’s worse, the pain of the loss — or the pain of what will never be."

She added: "It doesn't seem to get easier, really. I feel for her parents, for the whole family, tremendously."

In past interviews, Bednoski said Amber had been her daughter Abbi's friend for two years. "She was a sweet kid. Soft-spoken. She didn’t ask for much; she loved the simple things. She always loved to have fun, and she loved nature," Bednoski said.

Amber, Bednoski said, spent time at her house with Abbi and her other two girls, making memories at sleepovers, swimming, riding Hoverboards, and spending days at Splish Splash.

Abbi used to stay in during recess to help her with her math, Bednoski said.

Amber was an only child, Bednoski said. "I have three girls, so she fit right in. I just remember the fun she had, with my kids, at my house — her smile and happiness. Her passing changed my children’s lives forever. It tore them apart."

Amber will never be forgotten, Bednoski promised. "I hope to help others in her memory," she said.

"I am so glad my daughter became friends with her; I’m glad they had each other," Bednoski said. "She touched our lives in so many ways. I find peace knowing she had Abbi and my other daughters to play with and experience things with — even though it was only for a few short years."

In a tragic twist, Amber's father Jason Stulsky, has spent the past year fighting for his own life after being struck by an SUV in Riverside on August 17, 2021. He survived and is, according to his sister Diana Stulsky, "our miracle man."

Amanda agreed, and said, of his recovery, "It's miraculous."

But despite that joy, the lives of all who loved Amber remain cloaked in sadness as the anniversary of losing her approaches.

"I hope you're dancing in the sky," Bednoski has said, remembering Amber. "I hope you're singing in the angels' choir. And I hope the angels know what they have. I'll bet it's so nice up in heaven since you arrived."