Former LI Resident Bonnie Habyan, Wife Of Ex-Yankee, Returns For Book Signing

LAKE GROVE, NY — Bonnie Lorber Habyan, a former Nesconset resident of 25 years and the wife of ex-New York Yankee pitcher John Habyan, is returning to Long Island for a book signing, she said.

Habyan's book signing is scheduled for 5 to 7 p.m. Friday at Barnes and Noble in Lake Grove. The bookstore is at 600 Smith Haven Mall.

Her debut work, "The World According to Bess," is a funny, unfiltered memoir featuring life lessons from her 90-year-old mother, as well as how Bonnie has learned to deal with her mother's dementia.

"The World According to Bess" launched in June on her mom’s 91st birthday, and features hilarious and endearing childhood and adult insights and anecdotes, according to Habyan. The memoir reflects on Habyan’s upbringing, highlighting generational differences with both eye-raising comments and hysterical commentary.

The book has been a best seller on Amazon in the categories of Adulthood & Aging, Parenting Reference, and Biography Reference & Collections.

"Our moms are the lenses through which we see life," Bonnie Habyan said. "Growing up with Bess, that lens was often pretty funny and off-color. At the same time, in threading together the five-plus decades of her views and perspectives, her golden nuggets of wisdom clearly surface, and her evergreen principles are timeless and something every generation can benefit from."

Bess's principles and wisdom still shine through, even when she entered the later stages of dementia. Bonnie, like many other adult children, found herself in uncharted territory during this time.

Habyan believes that caregiving for a parent at any stage is emotional and every child and family’s decision on how they navigate that journey is very personal. She said she didn’t expect such resonance with caregivers who are in a similar situation.

“Moms’ perspectives are wise, but as they approach 90, they get a little crazy and downright funny,” Habyan said. “The book is real and I have learned that depending on every person’s journey and situation, humor can be a therapeutic coping mechanism for both parent and adult, during what I call the ‘slow burn’ of a debilitating disease. At first, I felt a little nervous sharing so much about our last few years, but I was stunned to receive emails, texts and enjoy personal conversations, oftentimes with people in tears, who say the book has helped them knowing others experienced the same thing. The conversations usually end with them telling me how much they miss their loved ones, once the journey is over.”

Habyan now knows that feeling. Bess died on Oct. 6 of late-stage dementia.

However, Bonnie and her mom had a dream come true event when the two appeared at an August Barnes & Noble book signing in her childhood hometown of Bel Air, Maryland.

“We can never imagine our lives without our moms," Habyan said. "I am blessed to have shared some incredibly special moments with mine and this book has struck a nerve with so many who have lost their parents, and whose tender journeys have never been shared out loud. I feel honored
to hear their firsthand experiences and to comfort them, as much as I can, because I get it.”

According to the Alzheimer's Association, more than 6 million Americans have Alzheimer's or related dementias. Caregivers of those with dementia provide care for a longer duration than caregivers of those with other conditions.

Well over half of family caregivers (57 percent) with Alzheimer's and related dementias provide care for four years or more. About two-thirds of dementia caregivers are women, and 3 in 10 are age 65 or older.

Habyan is an author, speaker and chief marketing officer who works in real estate finance for a New York company. Her husband, John Habyan, pitched in the MLB from 1985 to 1996. He was a Yankee from 1990 to 1993.

The book is available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble. For more information, visit Habyan's website.