Cast Of 'Gingy's Diaries' Reflects On 1 Woman's Extraordinary Journey

SOUTHAMPTON, NY — One woman's memories can strike a common chord in countless hearts.

That's the essence of a brand-new show, “Gingy’s Diaries,” by Ilene Beckerman, author of the beloved “Love, Loss and What I Wore,” that's set to shine at the Southampton Arts Center this May.

Beckerman's words shine a light on the highlights of Gingy’s life, what she’s seen, what she’s lived and what she’s learned — a glorious kaleidoscope of memories, wit, and observations. The show traverses a landscape rarely explored — a woman facing 90 who’s lived a lifetime but still faces each day with audacious energy and sass, chatting about sex, lipstick and the moments that have defined us all, as we look back on decades well-lived.

The show, in workshop form, will be presented on May 2 to 4 at the Southampton Arts Center. Each woman in the cast represents a portion of the pages of Gingy's diaries. Collectively, they will bring to life the words, emotions and heart that come together to create the one and only Ilene Beckerman.

Ilene Beckerman and Michael Disher have a rich and lengthy history. She first performed Gingy (herself) for Disher in “Love, Loss and What I Wore” in 2012. The two then collaborated on “Sex: What She's Really Thinking” and co-wrote, "Mom, It's MY Wedding!".

The show is adapted for the stage and directed by Disher; taken from the literal pages of Beckerman’s diaries, the work is a deeply moving tour de force, a veritable celebration of life.

“Gingy's Diaries” include musings, reflections on the world and women, and insights only a woman who has lived — and who lives, still, to tell the story — can share. Beckerman sees the world and her relationships as they really are — and a circle of women take the stage as pages of that diary, to share the most public and private moments throughout the years.

Speaking with Patch about the transcendent experience of portraying one woman's luminous life, the cast, including Susan Cincotta, Dorit Margalit, Tom Gregory, Deborah Marshall, Dolores Reilly, Patty Greene Brockman, Myers Bartlett, and Vay David, said the show spotlights society's perception of beauty.

"As I get into that stage where everyone looks at the young and passes by without so much as a glance, I reflect on how many of us have lived through so much with such little respect," Cincotta said. "Here's a play to inspire everyone to see Mom as many people through the eyes of her youth, motherhood, and the greatest gift — grandmotherhood."

She added: "Beauty never fades. It's the eyes that see only youthful beauty. It's like looking at only one color, you miss the rainbow and you must turn a prism to see all that is reflected. 'Gingy's Diaries' reflects the light of ageless beauty with its timeless charm and boundless humor."

It's a joy, Cincotta said, to be working with Disher and Beckerman again. "I have done 'Love, Loss and What I Wore' and 'Mom, It's My Wedding," with them and Tom Gregory — so it feels like family, especially with Joey Giovingo as stage manager. A creative, safe theater place for the discovery of the invisible woman who is wise — but her knowledge is not treasured. Ilene gets this more than most and her writing is challenging and provocative in a relatable way to readers and audiences alike."

Gingy, she said, represents Beckerman in all her glory, wit, and beauty. "It's in the knot of her scarf and the twist of her phrases, the twinkle of a gasping girl on a date with an older attractive man. The ignorance brought to the stage in a naive breathless whisper or a shoulder strap effortlessly dropping from a shoulder."

The show, Cincotta said, conveys an important message: "Theater is alive and well and needs to be seen and heard by audiences of all ages."

Gingy, Cincotta said, represents both fear and longing. "Imagination and inspiration and the misadventures of both in the endless search for love and acceptance while one dances with grief and loss in five-inch heels," she said.

And Gingy's story may very well be her own in many ways, Cincotta said. "Lipstick is breath. A day without lipstick is a day without sunshine — and the right shade can open doors you never knew existed. Oh, and if you can base fashion on lipstick, well, then you've got style and style can take you through anything. As Ocar Wilde put it, 'We are all in the gutter but some of us are looking at the stars.'"

Gingy represents all women, learning to navigate life in its different seasons, Cincotta said. "If you are a woman you have challenges no man ever faced. Ilene is brave enough to go beyond realizing this to using it as entertainment," she said. "Laughing at troubles that cripple some and inspire others to dance. I'm an artist and a businesswoman and raised in a very traditional first generation Italian-American household. I was the first and only to finish college in my immediate family and the first in over 200 years to leave home without getting married. Honey, we could talk all day."

Long after the final curtain, Cincotta said she will find herself forever changed by Beckerman's wisdom. "Laugh while you live; it makes survival possible. Love who you love and don't worry about what others think," she said. "Do your best and thank God every day for the day, no matter what it brings."

Gregory, as the lone male in the show, mostly portrays Gingy's grandfather who, he said, dishes out advice and insightful wisdoms. He also sits in as a former husband, and three overly romantic Europeans Gingy daydreams about.

"Each time my eldest character dishes out a 'wisdom,' I am reminded that life, no matter how fortunate or how many resources one might have — life can sometimes corral us into tight corners. While Gingy is looking back at her life wondering how it all happened so fast and ruminating over choices and situations, I am older and, thankfully, yes, wiser."

He added: "Gingy's grandfather reveals himself as absolute and certain of his beliefs. He says, 'You have to be prepared for life in this life. Remember, the road only goes in one direction. You can't go back, so you better look ahead, be prepared for danger, always have a back-up plan, and make the best of what you can.'"

Gregory has only praise for Beckerman's prowess. "Ilene captures, ideally, the remnants of when men were providers, comforters, and stalwart pillars of their country, family, and communities. I will turn 65 during the rehearsal period of this play. I sure have tried, all I can, to beat back those years. This play has sparked that knowledge thatt embracing the years with love and humor is acknowledging that life is a blessing. And, well, let's all love ourselves with respectful acceptance of who we were, are — and will become."

For Marshall, Gingy represents her Grandma Ella, who lived in New Jersey and was also a redhead.

"She also represents my mom's mom who also lived in New Jersey. She also represents my mother."

Marshall said she does agree with Gingy's thoughts on many things, including sexuality. "I am not a big lipstick person and am having a difficult time with embracing that element of her character but that’s where acting comes in — and trying to find the path to get there. I do agree with most of her thoughts on fashion. I believe some men do dress to impress and some women dress for comfort. When it comes to wigs and designer outfits I am in complete agreement with Gingy. I do agree with her thoughts on life. I feel they are pretty accurate."

Marshall said she can see herself reflected in Gingy at a number of stages in her life. For example, "having to navigate older men hitting on her and deciding to get married quickly. It is easy for me to relate to her views on motherhood being the hardest job."

Marshall added: "I have a different way of looking at the world than most people and understand that there are other forms of payment that are not monetary. The lessons learned from being a mother are otherworldly. The joy of seeing your child succeed is immeasurable. The unconditional love that is shared defies description. The struggles and difficulties of being a mother can feel unbearable."

One of her own biggest challenges has been stepping into her power and not giving it away to other people, Marshall said, adding, "The other big challenge I have had is owning my beauty."

And, she said, she has also struggled financially as a single woman. "It's been hard but that is changing because I’m working on it. I have placed most of my wealth in the spiritual realm and now it is beginning to manifest in the 3D."

As for Gingy, Marshall said she can relate to some of her views on aging. "But I don’t like to define myself as a certain age. I refused to buy into some of the common beliefs about aging. I also refused to believe menopause was a bad thing. Once I changed my mindset, it was fine — no issues."

But there are other ways in which Gingy has imparted lifelong lessons, Marshall said: "Never be without lipstick. Enjoy every moment of your life as it’s happening — you will never have that moment again. Collect pretty scarfs — and never shave your head unless you have lice."

Reilly also weighed in: "For me, Gingy represents the parts of me that I wish were a bit braver and more open," she said. "I agree with her thoughts on sexuality and life. I rely a lot on eyebrow pencil but almost never wear lipstick. I love her sense of fashion when she was younger and really like wearing black now."

When she was a teenager, Reilly said she wanted to go to college. "My father told me it was a waste of time since I would just get married and start a family," she said. "I never married so it’s a good thing I went to college. When I was in the work world I was astonished by how much more money men made than women. A lot has changed since way back then. Hopefully there’s more change to come."

The life lesson she learned from Gingy and her message to the audience are the same, Reilly said: "Go for it! Whatever age you are, go for it. Gingy was 60 when she published 'Love, Loss, and What I Wore.' I’m 76 and this will be the first play I’ve ever been in. Go for it!"

In Greene Brockman's eyes, Gingy represents "every woman," she said. "Not in the sense that she is 'regular', or average, but rather she is a resilient, creative, surviving warrior goddess with a spiritual connection to all that is life. Her descriptions about her devotion to family, memories, intuition, and even tactile things tells me she has a huge heart that she has never shielded. Women carry the souls of our ancestors before us and of our current sphere of influence. Gingy never holds back. She lives life out loud, in the trenches, and with vulnerability, class and ultimate femininity."

She said what she loves about Gingy is that she is curious about all these things — and comfortable speaking about them.

"I think she evolved as a curious creature who lives life in the moment, but carries her daily lessons forward as she tackles the next challenge or adventure with wide-eyed curiosity," Greene Brockman said. "I consider myself an adventure seeker who is always looking to gobble up as many experiences and gain knowledge of new things."

They share that bond, she said: "Gingy's enthusiasm for experimentation with dating outside the norms of her time, her keen observations about people, and things, and her command of life resonates with me. For me, the lipstick represents so much more than just cosmetics. I see them as her way of maintaining constants in her ever-changing life. She has her statement look and she proudly holds on to it because it represents a lifetime of self care and comfort-despite what might be falling down around her. We all need 'achors.'"

There are two sections that resonate with her more than others, Greene Brockman said. "When she was 20 and started dating her 40-year-old future husband, it reminded me of myself in my early 20s. I was living far away from home, away at college and I so badly wanted to grow up. I thought the way to do that was to date, experiment, fall in love, and get married. All of which I did — at a much too young age. I can hear the 'awe' in Gingy's words and absolutely connect with how she felt at the time, and how, despite that marriage not working out, the memories are still sweet after all the years."

The other section she resonates with is Gingy seeing herself as an older woman, and going through all the realizations that accompany life as women age. "She says, 'Everything about me is turning grey.' Wow, what a statement. Society starts to push older people into the background. We become wallpaper if we let it. But Gingy doesn't go down gently. I love her fight for self."

Gingy imparts invaluable life lessons, she said: "Lots of lessons — open your eyes. Live a full life. Don't hold back. Be whoever you want to be, even though it will hurt. Love with your whole being. Lastly, pay attention to the world and people around you. Everything and everyone is teaching you something"

For Bartlett, Gingy represents women she has known and women she has read about. "And her words invoke memories of many of my experiences as a female, daughter, sister and friend — as well as reminding me of the lineage of women I come from and how females have developed their roles in society over the decades."

On the issues of Gingy's sexuality and her views on fashion, Bartlett said: "Well, that is a mixed bag. I have experienced and known women who have experienced many of her views on sexuality."

She added: "As far as makeup, in the 80s, as a young woman embarking on an acting career who came from a much more reserved environment where the women were overall more natural, I had a lot to learn. My mother was a beauty who wore very little makeup, never dyed her hair, etc. So my education came from my college roommate and friends in the theater."

Bartlett remembered a time when she didn't feel she could step outside without makeup. "While I love makeup and still use it, I have adjusted my relationship to it. I remember feeling like I was not beautiful without it. It Is now something I have released as a mandatory to exist or be of value in society. I have learned to embrace and love myself with or without makeup — though I agree a little is of great benefit, I just don't want my worth to require it," she said.

There are glimpses of herself in Gingy, Bartlett said: "Although our circumstances and religious orientations are different, there are similarities," she said. "I grew up in a Waspy environment and struggled mightily with that as a person — driven to connect with and express my truth versus smiling through it all."

She added: "My greatest challenge as a woman has been in feeling confident and desirable. My dad was alcoholic and my parents split in the early 70s, before divorce was a common thing. Thanks to lots of therapy and my involvement in music and theater, I committed to a positive path and am proud of my professional accomplishments but have struggled in the relationship/intimacy department. I can also certainly relate to the monologue about always having the wrong body type for the times and not feeling attractive in my very feminine body."

While Bartlett said it's too soon to say what she has learned from Gingy, "She reminds me of one of the best bits of wisdom my mom gave me, which I use to this day. It ws left on a note written on an envelope a year before she died when I was 31, and my career was starting to gain some traction: 'Remember, chin up, tits high. It helps alot. xx.'"

As for David, she believes Gingy is a wise woman who grew up in much the same time frame that she did, but under very different circumstances.

"When first reading the play, I was quite taken by her point of view. She speaks of many experiences that I, too, have undergone — and it’s interesting to find how differently two people can experience different things in very similar ways."

She added: "Gingy wants lipstick if she ends up stranded on a desert island. I’d want mascara, instead. But the idea is the same. Gingy married early and had several children, whereas I married late and had none. But that doesn’t mean I can’t understand her feelings."

Gingy, she said, "has a clarity of expression that transcends specifics. Plus, it is clear that her experience is that of a woman — and this piece knows that being a woman has certain foibles in this life. That’s something all of us in this show can understand. It’s a pleasure to convey thoughts that are so universal and understandable from a woman’s point of view. For an actor, her strong voice makes it easier to feel and portray how life has been for Gingy."

Reflecting on the show, Disher discusses the synergy he and Beckerman share: “Ilene maintains that I know more about women than most men. I disagree. I observe, to be sure, but believe I learn more daily. I find women fascinating — especially discovering the many attributes and inherent qualities they have that men don’t possess. Aging, personally, has accelerated these noted observations. Ilene’s perspective is important. We are both older, not necessarily wiser, but have collectively lived more than 160 years. Longevity does increase experiences. This show, in many ways, is truly about ‘the forgotten woman.’ Sad that many feel age decreases our value.”

Their bond has deepened with time. “We laugh as much as we think. And we do both in great quantities. This is our fourth collaboration. Ours is a friendship that always picks up exactly where it was last left. Most will call her Gingy. To me, she is Ilene. Though inseparable, I think I am privy to the often unspoken and unwritten side of her. She holds my secrets — and I hold hers in a deep vault,” Disher said.

Of the show’s message, he said: “Older isn’t always wiser, but like a favorite chair, song, pair of jeans, and memory, age can envelop and comfort — with equal parts agony and ecstasy. Our culmination speaks volumes.”

The Southampton Arts Center is located at 25 Jobs Lane in Southampton. For additional information and tickets, click here.