Celebrate The Old West With National Cowboy Day in Fort Worth

FORT WORTH, TX —I am so stoked for Saturday, because, well... I was supposed to grow up a cowboy.

And, tomorrow, July 24, is the National Day of the American Cowboy (NDAC), and the Fort Worth Stockyards are observing the 15th anniversary of their celebration honoring the Old West and the bold men and women who settled here and civilized the land we now take for granted.

Hearing about this event catapulted my inner child into an instant reverie of All Things Old West. Just the notion of wandering through this living 3-D homage — including a cowboy celebration parade, special Cowtown cowboy rodeos at the Cowtown Coliseum and an Old West Comedy Gunfight Show sounded Epic.

There'll also be armadillo races, training in calf roping and something called Chuck Wagon Cowboy Poetry, which sounds far too close to the campfire bean-eating scene from Blazing Saddles for me, but ... what do I know?

See, much as I wanted to be a cowboy, I was visibly lacking in many of the subtle attributes that makes someone good cowboy (or cowgirl) material. For starters, I was the shortest kid in my class from 5th grade on. Worse I grew up in suburban El Paso, where we saw horses only on TV and at New Year's and Fourth of July events.

Sure, the tumbleweeds that blew down my street in a windstorm were real enough, as were the armadillos and occasional scorpions and rattlesnakes. But animals roaming free? Cattle drives? Wide open spaces? Not so much. Our only abundance was in the number of Denny's you could find less than 10 minutes apart.

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As kids, my friends and I would glue ourselves to the TV to watch anything western. The plots became our fantasies, and when we started getting reruns of the Mexican folk hero The Cisco Kid, the number of kids watching in rapt attention doubled.

I didn't realize how deep the cowboy spirit was within me until I got hired during college as a waiter at The Big Texan Steak Ranch in Lubbock — a spot renowned for its free 72-oz. steak. The catch: You had to eat it. All of it, or it cost you plenty. I cannot tell you the number of failures I witnessed, or the number of times I caught people sneaking chunks of chewed meat into their boots or purses. But there were a few successes, too.

And, since the sprawling restaurant was divided up into little thematic spots, my then-girlfriend got the saloon, my roommate at Texas Tech got the stagecoach, his friend got a sad little teepee that sat off in the corner, and I was put in charge of the bank.

Once I got the bank, I had to swap my cosmic cowboy shirts with the shoulder yokes and the snap pearl buttons and my beloved cowboy hat for a banker's green visor, a banded collar shirt, a black vest and garters on each sleeve. I looked like an extra from the '60s sitcom Green Acres.

At 125 lbs. and 5'8", I'd stride in to greet a table and say, "Welcome to the Big Texan Steak Ranch. I'm Big Tex. ... I understand your disappointment. Can I get you something to drink?"

So it went, having to explain three times a night what calf fries are to the delight of a guest who'd brought his lovely lady in just so he could see the expression on her face when she learned what a bull misses most when you . . . harvest those calf fries.

By the time I became a full-fledged adult, cowboys were culturally passé, long having been replaced first by secret agents, then by the Jedi and finally by the multiverse of heroes in the MCU and DC.

I've been to numerous rodeos (and even saw Destiny's Child perform at one), and there's something remarkably authentic and real about watching a rider and a horse working in such synchronicity their connection seems telepathic.

Westerns have made a bit of a comeback over the last dozen or more years, too. Quentin Tarrantino's Django Unchained and The Hateful Eight are bloody good updates of the genre and Robert Rodriquez' El Mariachi and Desperado are modest masterpieces on their own merits.

Over the years, I've had to admit I'm more a drugstore cowboy (one in appearance only), but that doesn't diminish my admiration for the rugged men and women who had to tame Texas and virtually everything that walked, crawled, slithered or took wing from it.

This Saturday though, you can see the real thing. It's not Buffalo Bill Cody's Wild West Show of more than a century ago, of course. But you can still smell the sawdust, have experts literally show you the ropes, and for just a moment, you can be a kid again, holding the reins to a life of uncharted possibility and unlimited vistas.

The National Day of the American Cowboy (NDAC) 15th Anniversary presented by American Hat Company.

The NDAC celebration in the Stockyards starts at 10 a.m. and continues until 8 p.m. This family-friendly event features a Cowboy Celebration Parade with the Fort Worth HERD starting at 11:30am, special Cowtown Cowboy Rodeos at the Cowtown Coliseum at 2pm and again at 7:30 pm.

In addition, there will be Old West Comedy Gunfight Shows, Live Music on the Stockyards outdoor stage, Calf Roping Training, Chuck Wagon Cowboy Poetry, Armadillo Races and more.

General Admission seats are not reserved, and are available on a first come, first served basis.

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