Good Neighbors Send Wine And Own It If They Break Stuff [Block Talk]

ACROSS AMERICA — After asking our readers what annoys them about their neighbors, we flipped the question to ask Patch readers what the traits are of a good neighbor.

One Oswego (Illinois) Patch reader described the best neighbor he ever had as “awesome.” His wife was, too. “She would randomly” — well, how to say it? — lift her shirt and give him a peek.

Thanks for that, guy.

Gracie, a Fredericksburg (Virginia) Patch reader, set a likely more relatable standard for the traits of a good neighbor, our question for this installment of Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column.

Her neighbors sound like an absolute dream.

“They wanted a tree taken down that was on our joint property line and offered to pay for it,” she wrote in answer to our survey. “We offered half, and we were all happy.”

And we could all wish for neighbors like Karen’s.

“I can’t pick just one,” said Karen, who reads Middletown Patch, Newport Patch and Portsmouth Patch, all in Rhode Island.

Her idea of a good neighbor is “someone that you can count on in an emergency.”

Karen struck gold.

“Recently, two neighbors called an ambulance for me and cleaned up all the blood on the floor when I cut open my foot,” she said. “I take blood thinners, and there was A LOT of blood.

“Two other neighbors showed up at the hospital to check on me and waited until they could drive me home,” she continued. “My neighbors are more than just neighbors, they are friends and some are like family.”

• READ IT AGAIN: Don’t Be These People [Block Talk]

Cate, an Across Connecticut Patch reader, hit the good neighbor jackpot, too.

“They were a family of four who were everything I loved about a good neighbor,” Cate wrote. “We looked out for each other.”

Patchogue (New York) Patch reader Karen cherishes Sophie, the neighbor who “used to throw bags over the fence for our kids.” She appreciates neighbors who are “quiet and unseen,” and stealth toy tossing seems to fit that bill.

MYOB: The Good Neighbor Code

Across America Patch reader Jill appreciates “that guy with the snowblower who takes care of the entire street,” and also neighbors who “mind their own business and apologize when their kid breaks something while playing.”

Readers said good neighbors know the line between being friendly and being nosy and being helpful but not overbearing. They also keep their lawns trimmed, their properties tidy, their pets under control and the music volume on low.

Jenna, another Patchogue Patch reader, said the best neighbors mind their own business and are “friendly but not intrusive.”

“We have quiet neighbors,” she said. “We hardly know them after 20 years.”

Bel Air (Maryland) Patch reader Stelph said the best neighbor she ever had lived on a dead-end street in a rural area. She prefers quiet, and “no nosy neighbors.”

Alex, who reads Darien Patch and Vernon Patch, both in Connecticut, put it this way:

“They mind their own business, yet are friendly and helpful whenever needed,” Alex said. To him, that boils down to the most desired trait in a neighbor:

“Respect.”

Good Neighbors Send Wine

Newtown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Deborah said her neighbors set a high bar for respecting the rights of others to enjoy their property.

“We had neighbors who wouldn’t do any yard work if they saw we had company, and we did the same,” Deborah wrote. “Mowing can always wait a day!”

North Fork (New York) Patch reader Trixy said the best neighbors are “friendly but respectful of space.”

“Two current neighbors are friendly — waving, small over-the-fence chit-chat and other neighborly pleasantries,” Trixy said. “They are aware of what happens on the street without being visibly nosy. They keep their yards clean, respect decent yard work hours, don’t have crazy parties or crazy guests and are proud of their homes and tidiness.”

Parsippany (New Jersey) Patch reader Joe said that “the best neighbors are the ones that send over a bottle of wine,” but he also appreciates people whose houses and yards are well-kept, and who respect noise levels after 9 p.m. when they’re hosting outdoor parties with music.

What’s The Backstory, Roy?

Roy, who reads several Patch sites around South Jersey, said his good-neighbor checklist includes people who are honest, proactive and inviting without throwing around a lot of BS.

“If I let you borrow something, return it. If you borrow it and mess it up, don’t wait for me to inspect it and call you out on it (which would be three to six months later), then offer to repair or replace it,” he said. “Face your actions head on and say, ‘I messed it up, I’ll replace or repair it.’ ”

Roy may have had a bad neighbor experience or two in the past. He’s good with Rudolph and Tara, though.

They’re “always down to shoot the breeze, chill and mind their business,” Roy said. “Couldn’t ask for anything better.”

Patch reader Anabel said a good neighbor is “someone open to be a non-judgmental friend,” but also someone who “minds their own business” and isn’t loud.

Good Neighbors Make Good Godparents

Being friendly can lead to lifelong friendships, said Farmingdale (New York) Patch and Eatontown-Tinton Falls (New Jersey) Patch reader Rhonda.

“We moved into a new development in Farmingdale years ago,” she wrote. “My neighbor had five children and we had none. We would wave and smile in the beginning. We became the best of friends, and 25 years later, we are still like neighbors even though we are now in Tinton Falls and they [live on Long Beach Island]. We are the godparents to their daughter and the best of friends.”

Rhonda said she became great friends with her new neighbors in Tinton Falls, too.

“We would wave to begin with, and slowly it became a friendship,” she said. “Parties, family gatherings, dinners or just an impromptu backyard BBQ make neighbors special.”

Those neighbors downsized and moved to different communities. And though she no longer lives near her former Farmingdale or Tinton Falls neighbors, “we continue to be friends and call either one of them for anything.”

Still, Rhonda said, take it slow.

She wants her neighbors “to be cordial, but not at my house every day.”

“If a friendship forms, that’s great.”

About Block Talk

Block Talk is a regular Patch feature offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

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