Block Talk: When Is It Too Late To Play Loud Music At Backyard Party? What Should You Do?

ACROSS AMERICA — Welcome to “Block Talk: Late Night.” We’re talking with Patch readers about outdoor party season and loud music.

If you’ve been keeping up with Block Talk, you know there’s no single answer to the questions we pose on Facebook. This time around, we asked: How late is too late to blast music outside? What should you do if your neighbor won't turn it down?

“I appreciate this question because it signals a community-minded thought process,” a Middleton (New Jersey) Patch reader replied. “Those who say ‘The heck with my neighbors. It's my property and I can do what I want’ are one of the reasons our society is deteriorating.

“Your neighbor might have young children, a migraine, a tough job, a hard day caring for an ill family member, etc. You never know what someone else is going through. Care and compassion for others is a key component to a thriving community. Please think beyond your own needs.”

So, maybe don’t be this Banning-Beaumont (California) Patch reader who wrote, probably as a joke: “If it’s too loud, you’re too old.”

(Get back to us on that sometime in the future when Block Talk examines what to do about neighbors who listened to too much head-banging music in their youth and now blare their TVs so loud everyone within a city block hears it, OK?)

“Too loud” isn’t a matter of generational differences, a Brick (New Jersey) Patch reader pointed out:

“If I can hear it in my house, it’s too loud. If I have to hear it in my yard outside 7 days a week, it is a problem. I should be able to enjoy my property, too. Be mindful of your neighbors!”

Other readers also reached for the high bar on neighborliness.

It’s no big deal when her neighbor has loud parties, usually limited to three or four times a year and always on a Friday or Saturday night, another Banning-Beaumont Patch reader wrote, adding:

“I really don’t care how long it goes on. It’s loud on my patio, but I have dual-paned windows and barely hear anything in my house, certainly not enough to keep me awake.”

A Concord (New Hampshire) Patch reader said the volume on music should be cut at 9 p.m., pointing out:

“Small children, babies, the sick, and the elderly need rest, and there should be respect for that. Doesn’t mean you can’t still have your party; just turn it down.”

‘Get A Life’

It depends on whether it’s a weeknight or weekend party, some readers said.

“Through the week, 9, maybe 10 p.m., but that’s pushing it,” a Joliet (Illinois) Patch reader said. “Weekend, 11 or 12 is still annoying but more tolerable as long as it’s not an every day/weekend thing.”

Hold on. Another Joliet Patch reader thinks 10 p.m. is a reasonable time to wind down a party on a weeknight, adding “whenever on the weekend.”

“Let people live,” the reader went on. “Most neighbors aren’t partying and blaring music every single Friday and Saturday, so let them party.”

Just peace out, a few more folks said.

“If it's a once or twice-a-year thing, who cares, play it all night,” wrote a Salem (Massachusetts) Patch reader.

“Get a life and let people have fun,” a Middleton Patch reader said.

It's ‘All About That Bass’

“It’s not so much the music,” an East Haven (Connecticut) Patch reader pointed out, “it’s when they have the bass cranked, and you have that vibrating booming noise.

“It actually makes me nauseous,” the reader continued. “But yes, 11 p.m. should be the music turn-down time. Not off, just down to a reasonable level.”

Beyond thumping bass beats, are there limits to what neighbors should have to put up with?

“Depends on the music,” a Banning-Beaumont Patch reader wrote, using an emoji to show sarcasm. “I don't really mind late parties. If I wanted to be in the middle of nowhere with no noise, I would've moved to the desert.”

It's Also All About That Playlist

If it’s classic rock, keep it going until 3 a.m., a Vernon (Connecticut) Patch reader joked, adding that “anything else” should be turned down at 10 p.m.

“If it’s country music,” a Norristown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader cracked, “the police should be called immediately.”

“Depends on the music,” a Concord Patch reader said. If it’s rock music, it’s all cool. But if it’s pop — especially current pop — “no thanks,” the person said.

A Wilmington (Massachusetts) Patch reader thinks it’s fair for folks to keep the music going until 11 or so on weekend nights, but “not later than midnight.”

“If it was my neighbor, I’d close my window,” the person continued. “If it was good music, I’d open the window and fall asleep to it!”

A Brick Patch reader said that, in general, the music should be turned down by 10 p.m., “but if it’s a good party with super awesome music, I say continue on.”

“On occasion, I have to listen to solo drunk singing,” the person continued, adding, “That’s when I go inside and turn up my TV.”

“I think it depends on the vibe of your neighborhood,” a Norristown Patch reader noted.

‘They Better Like Opera’

This is pretty rich. It comes from a Newport (Rhode Island) Patch reader who thinks it’s reasonable to expect her neighbors to turn down the music at 8 p.m. on weeknights and 10 p.m. on weekends. Is it annoying when it goes on longer? Yes it is.

But she's just not going to go there with her neighbors. Instead, she closes the windows and cuts the noise with earplugs. Why?

“I’ve watched ‘Fear Thy Neighbor’ and ‘Snapped’ too many times,” she explained, referring to a couple of popular true-crime series about murder. “I’m not messing with that stuff.”

We can see this happening to neighbors who just won't turn it down, no matter the hour:

A New Lenox (Illinois) Patch reader pointed out she works “darn near seven days a week” and has to get up at 3:30 a.m. most of the time.

“On those days where I don't have to get up, I want to sleep. I don't mind the parties, but music should be turned down by 10 and they can still party till they pass out,” the reader wrote. “It's not fair that a person who has to go to work in the morning only get 1½ hour of sleep. Respect goes a long way. Keep me up at all hours of the night, be prepared to be woken up at 5 a.m. with all my lawn equipment. ...”

Another person, a reader of Oak Lawn (Illinois) Patch, offered this: “If your neighbor won’t turn it down, just play some music you prefer even louder.”

This response from a Waukesha (Wisconsin) Patch reader was priceless, too:

“My stereo is bigger than theirs. They better like opera.”

‘Party Like It’s 1999’

But gosh darn it, it is summer, and if you can’t “Party Like It’s 1999” in the summertime, when can you? And who doesn’t need some unfettered joy after the last two COVID-19 summers?

A Bonney Lake-Sumner (Washington) Patch reader doesn’t care how long the party goes or when the music is turned down, writing, “Summer is short, enjoy it!”

Another Wilmington Patch reader enjoys the “sounds of summer” — backyard barbecues, and music with family and friends. “Form a Conga line and do the Macarena,” she advised. “Enjoy summer.”

Selective hearing is a valuable skill, too.

“Unpopular opinion,” a Freehold (New Jersey) Patch reader offered. “I know how to tune out what I don’t want to hear. Play your music, dance, party. Tomorrow isn’t promised.”

Hear! Hear!

“I’m crashing the party,” a Temecula (California) Patch reader wrote, wondering, “How dare they not invite me?”

That’s it exactly.

“If you can’t beat the party,” a Sachem (New York) Patch reader agreed, “join the party.”

A person in Connecticut who must throw such parties said the volume goes down at 10 p.m., “unless it’s a band."

"Then," the reader said to his neighbors on the Vernon Patch Facebook page, "head on over and grab a drink.”

“Be smart,” a Brick (New Jersey) Patch reader advised. “Invite the neighbors.”

But Should You Call Police?

Just don’t call the police, a Sachem Patch reader said, noting, “That’s silly.”

Is not, countered another Sachem Patch reader who said that when loud music continues after 10 p.m., “you call the police.”

A Waukesha Patch reader who said her babies have been jarred from sleep repeatedly by her neighbor’s loud music doesn’t hesitate to let authorities know what’s going on next door.

“If I had an upset child and a wet bed to change, the police were called,” she wrote. “No warning, no talking to the neighbor.”

Not so fast, another Waukesha Patch reader said.

“If your neighbors are blasting music late into the night, then you should go talk to them about it and see if you can come to a compromise,” she explained, “but if they keep doing it maybe it's time to call the police, but the police should be a last resort not the first thing you try.”

Another Bonney Lake-Sumner Patch reader said it’s fair to ask neighbors to turn music down at 10 p.m., but the best response is seeking a “more perfect union” with neighbors through compromise — “that’s right, talking.”

Indeed, a Rochester-Rochester Hills (Michigan) Patch reader pointed out.

“Go over and talk to them,” she advised, “Ask for a song request. Sit with them a minute. Then say, ‘Well, I have to get up early for work. Would you mind lowering the volume in a few minutes?’ If that doesn't work, then I guess you will need to call the city about an ordinance violation.”

One thing several readers agreed on was that playing music at a deafening volume is never cool.

Playing loud music until 11 on Friday and Saturday nights, and 10 on the others, is OK as long as it's “not blasting,” another Rochester-Rochester Hills Patch reader wrote. “Maybe just loud. It’s never ok to be blasting.”

An Oak Lawn Patch reader was emphatic: “Blasting music is not necessary at any time.”

We don’t recommend this, but admit it’s fun to think about: “If they don't turn it down, cut the electricity to their house,” a Salem Patch reader joked.

And a Murrieta (California) Patch reader offered a cautionary tale about what can happen when disputes over late-night parties fester. Her partying neighbors “actually divided our neighborhood and put an end to our awesome block parties," she said.

“It's not the music, it's the noise that goes along with it, the cackling, the hollering, spilling out to the street, cars screeching off, etc. Total disrespect and disregard for your neighbors! It helps to tell your neighbors in advance, ‘If it gets too loud, let me know.’ We had those neighbors for 5 years — barking dogs, bratty kids, and parties ’til 4 in the morning,” the person continued, adding:

“Common sense helps.”

About Block Talk

Block Talk is an every-other-week feature on Patch offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

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