Porch Pirates Stealing Packages? Here Are Some Tips [Block Talk]

The real-life Grinch and the classic Dr. Seuss character’s real-life proxies are already cruising neighborhood streets with a plan to steal Christmas from Americans during the peak of parcel-shipping season.

Known as porch pirates, these bandits stole anywhere from $12 billion to $16 billion, separating millions of Americans from their deliveries in the last 12 months, according to reports.

Several readers said they no longer receive package deliveries at home when we asked what to do about porch pirates for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column.

“I found a private mailbox center called Ship Logistics … that was created to combat porch pirates,” said Livingston (New Jersey) Patch reader Victor. “They receive your mail and packages until you come and pick them up.”

“Don’t Touch,” an Aurora (Illinois) Patch reader, lives in a seniors-only building and has had packages stolen.

“It’s a shame that anyone steals, but especially from senior citizens,” Don’t Touch said. “Even medicine has been stolen. It is truly sad. And it is never returned.”

As a result, the reader has packages delivered to a local store that is a designated pick-up site for package deliveries.

Sometimes, customers are left holding the bag. The security company SafeWise said a survey this fall showed about 45 percent of victims received a replacement, and 32 percent were given refunds after reporting the thefts to the retailer.

Thief Signed For Package

Cee, a Brooklyn (New York) Patch reader, took a financial hit when a microwave oven she had ordered was swiped.

“I taped a note to the door for FedEx to not deliver and to return the package,” Cee said. “I was surprised to see it had been delivered and someone had signed my name. I never received the package. I was told that since someone signed I would still be charged.”

Now, she makes sure she’s home when packages are delivered. “I watch out for the delivery person and meet them at the door,” she said.

After frequent thefts, Dace, an Evanston (Illinois) Patch reader who lives in an apartment building, bought a secure box for UPS, FedEx and USPS deliveries but said they rarely use it.

If caught and convicted, porch pirates should be required to perform community service, Dace said.

‘Cut Their Hands Off’

“The Voice of Reason,” a Bayside-Douglaston (New York) Patch reader, has more severe punishment in mind.

“If we had real laws and real politicians, the citizenry would be protected,” the reader said. “I’d like to cut their hands off like they do in Saudi Arabia!n Then you’d see a sharp decline in theft and burglary immediately.”

Other readers expressed frustration that porch pirates often go unpunished. Only nine states — Michigan, Texas, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Tennessee, Kentucky, Georgia, New Jersey and Pennsylvania — have made porch piracy a felony. But even in those states, experts say it can be hard for prosecutors to gather enough evidence because porch pirates operate quickly, many times in areas where they’re unlikely to be recognized by witnesses, and leave little evidence behind.

Several readers want their state legislators to get tougher on this type of larceny.

“The Trumpet,” a Long Beach (New York) Patch reader, said New York should join the states that make felony charges available to prosecutors in porch piracy cases.

“These scumbags don’t belong on our property!” The Trumpet wrote, typing the comment in capital letters for emphasis. “Also, these liberal scumbag politicians in New York do nothing to help law enforcement bring these porch pirates to justice!

“Make it a felony in New York!” The Trumpet continued. “What are we waiting for?”

“Ladidi10,” a Laguna Woods (California) Patch reader, wants her state to join those that make porch piracy a felony “with actual time for the crime.”

“I live in SoCal and am sick and tired of our soft-on-crime governor and local government,” the reader said. “What we have now is organized crime. We have let the bad guys take over. I am hoping this will reverse in trend and regular folks can again walk the streets not concerned with safety.”

Joliet (Illinois) Patch reader “Lt. JMP” thinks porch piracy should be a felony carrying a stiff fine.

“This is happening way too much, be it a home, condo, town home or apartment,” said Petra, a Forest Park (Illinois) Patch reader. “Better laws need to be in place, have a neighbor maybe look out for you.”

“It takes a village to protect a village,” said Eric, another Illinois Patch reader.

Woodbury (Minnesota) Patch reader Junie has been fortunate and hasn’t had to deal with porch pirates.

“Whether I’m in the clear because we get our packages from the porch quickly or just because our street isn’t getaway-friendly, I can’t say,” Junie said. “We do have a non-locking plastic bin for packages to go in. There’s a 50 percent success rate of the carrier actually using it, though.”

If no one is going to be home, Junie has packages delivered to her workplace. “If we didn’t have someone always at home, I would absolutely invest in a locking bin,” Junie said.

“Moose,” a Salem (Massachusetts) Patch reader, follows the same practice.

“If I’m not home, I have packages delivered to the office for in-hand delivery, or I send them to someone’s home who is always home or make it, so a signature is required,” Moose said.

The best thing to do in the event of a package theft is to notify police and be prepared to provide authorities with proof of purchase information, Moose said.

Florida Patch reader “Lucky” rented a box at the Post Office and even then, two packages vanished this past October after receiving email notification they had arrived.

“I spoke with the supervisor at the Post Office, showed her my email confirmations, and she says on both occasions they have no employees there by ‘that name,’ ” Lucky said.

KTB, a New Haven (Connecticut) Patch reader, also has never experienced a package theft, and said the best defense against this type of larceny is a good offense.

“Cameras, proper lighting and occupied property are deterrents,” the reader said. “Avoid any indication that the home is unoccupied, like piled up mail, newspapers and garbage cans put out days before pickup.”

Sticks And Stones OK

Although enforcement is difficult, “maybe delivery trucks could have back-facing cameras to detect anyone following the truck.”

“Annie With No Gun to Get,” a Roanoke (Virginia) Patch reader, claims to have seen “these dudes following the delivery trucks around.

“I’ve pointed my phone camera in their direction and they take off. I am not under the illusion this does much good,” Annie continued. “They probably circle back when I come inside.”

If anyone ever stole her stuff, she’d call the police, though she is unconvinced that would do much good.

“I would never confront a porch pirate because I live in an open-carry state and people are running around with guns like it’s the g--damned Wild West,” unarmed Annie said. “They can have my toilet paper — can’t believe I’m saying that after we could find nothing but sandpaper in the pandemic — and other household cleaning supplies. They’re not getting gold and diamonds here.”

Annie thinks “it is OK to put sticks and stones, or something more special if you get my drift, in an Amazon box to mess with them. But remember, they have guns.”

Woodbury (Minnesota) Patch reader Junie, the isn’t opposed to that idea.

“I have pets, a lot of empty boxes, and free time,” Junie said. “I’m not sure the pirates want to start a war with me.”

About Block Talk

Block Talk is an exclusive Patch series on neighborhood etiquette — and readers provide the answers. If you have a topic you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com with “Block Talk” as the subject line.

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