Your Neighbor’s Dog Poo: What To Do About The Doo [Block Talk]

ACROSS AMERICA — For this installment of Block Talk, Patch readers flung a lot of advice on what to do about neighbors who don't do their business after their dogs do theirs.

“My neighbor doesn't clean up after her dogs,” a reader told us, sharing a lament common in neighborhoods, whether due to dog walkers who fail to curb their dogs or people who allow stinking piles of dog poop to accumulate on their properties.

“What can I do about it?” the reader asked.

A Middletown (New Jersey) Patch reader was one of several people recommending civility when they answered our question on Facebook. Give the offending neighbor “the benefit of a doubt,” she said.

“Talk to them,” she advised, adding that “if you treat them as an adult, they will respond in kind.”

Absolutely, a Portsmouth (Rhode Island) Patch reader agreed.

“How about talk to them as a neighbor, because they are one?” she wrote. “What happened to just talking to someone to understand what is going on, rather than judgments or retaliation?

“No wonder our kids are terrible to one another,” she continued. “They don’t get to see adults model effective communication.”

Yes, a Concord (New Hampshire) Patch reader pointed out., “at least give the neighbor the opportunity to do better by having a conversation first.”

But should you call the police on repeat offenders?

Yes, a Tewksbury (Massachusetts) Patch reader suggested.

“If it's on their own property, not much you can do,” he wrote. “If they are coming onto your property, obtain proof it's their pets, then ask politely. If they refuse, call police, have it professionally cleaned and send them the bill.”

A Branford (Connecticut) Patch reader thinks that’s the wrong approach, though.

“Above all else, talk to them,” the person wrote. “It might not yield immediate results, but it needs to be our first course of action, always, regarding non-violent, transgressions. An immediate appeal to authority (which seems to happen way too often) in such instances is ludicrous, cowardly, and counterproductive.

"If we can't coexist and settle petty squabbles, without ‘the law’ intervening, we don't deserve to function as a free society.”

‘This Will Get Petty’

Talking it out is a good idea — in theory, other readers said.

“I had a neighbor like that,” another Concord Patch reader wrote. “I spoke to her about it. Still let the dog in our kids’ play yard and continued [poop emoji]. Filled a wheelbarrow after a few weeks’ worth and dumped it in her front steps. It stopped.”

Yet another Concord Patch reader is remorseless after dumping a load of poop on a former neighbor’s yard.

“Tried the nice neighbor route,” she explained, but it “didn’t work, so I flung her dog’s [poop emoji] at her house. Still don’t feel bad about it.”

A Nashua (New Hampshire) Patch reader advised talking first, but if the neighbor has “a bad attitude,” pick up the poop and deposit it at the offending neighbor’s doorstep. Or, the person continued, “throw it, and maybe it’ll stick to the siding.”

A Tampa (Florida) Patch reader said that if a friendly chat doesn’t yield results, a talk with a homeowner’s group might.

“Finally, I will pick up the poop and place it on their doorstep, no bags, just the poop,” the person wrote. “Eventually they will have to pick it up somehow. If they complain about it to HOA, the response will be, ‘Well, if you picked up after your pet, you wouldn’t have your pet’s poop delivered to your doorstep.’ This game will get very petty really quick. The best part, it will all be caught on camera.”

Revenge Poo

Other readers piled on with suggestions on what to do with the dog doo.

Putting it in the neighbor’s mailbox was a big one. (Editor's note: Just sayin', it’s illegal to put anything but stamped mail in mailboxes. So, put a stamp on it? Probably not. Disclaimer: Patch is not recommending revenge poo.)

“Drop off their dog’s gift onto their own front porch,” an Enfield (Connecticut) Patch reader wrote.

“Put it in an Amazon box and leave it on their front porch,” a New Port Richey (Florida) Patch reader suggested.

“If I knew where they lived,” an Edgewater-Davidsonville (Maryland) Patch reader wrote,“ I’d pick it up and smear it on their door handle.”

“Toss that pile of crap right back in their yard,” a Woodbury-Middlebury (Connecticut) Patch reader wrote.

“It ends up in their yard, one way — or another,” a Durham-Middlefield (Connecticut) Patch reader added.

Game on!

“Pick it up follow them home, knock on the door,” a Middletown Patch reader suggested. “When they answer, toss it in their house.”

Get That (Expletive) On Video

Or, someone else said, just embarrass the you-know-what out of them.

A Point Pleasant (New Jersey) Patch reader found an effective solution:

“I put a sign out on my lawn stating, ‘I appreciate you thinking about picking up after your dog, but your phone call was more important. The video of you shows that you’re not even paying attention to your dog!” the person wrote, adding the dog pooped elsewhere after that.

“If my cameras would catch them, I would post the video on the neighborhood’s [Facebook] group,” a Woodstock (Georgia) Patch reader said. “Wouldn't name any names, just post the video saying to stop doing it.”

Another Point Pleasant Patch reader went there, too.

First, the reader said, ask offenders to curb their dogs. If that doesn’t work, “put a sign on your lawn. Don’t forget to [include] their name.”

“Honestly,” a Greenwich (Connecticut) Patch reader wrote, “it’s 2022. If people can’t take care of their dogs, record them, send it to the police and report them. Tired of the laziness.”

‘It Won’t Kill You’

As tempting as all that might be, other readers did the internet equivalent of shaking their damned heads.

“If the dog poo is in their yard, there is nothing you can do about it,” a Beverly (Massachusetts) Patch reader wrote. “If it's in front of your yard, then pick it up. It's a pain, but it won't kill you.”

A Branford Patch reader said it’s important for poop-finders to arm themselves with facts and not emotions.

“What are the circumstances? Is it their own property which borders the neighbor’s, or is it walking down the street and letting your dog go and not cleaning up?” the person wrote. “If it’s on their property, not much you can do- — I understand it may smell, etc., but maybe they can’t [clean it up] every day.”

“If it’s on their property, it’s none of your business,” a Peabody Patch reader wrote.

Hold on, though.

“That’s a health violation,” a Dundalk (Georgia) Patch reader pointed out.

“If it’s on their property, and it smells really bad, call the board of health!” another Peabody Patch reader advised. That person also took the route of the revenge-poo crowd, suggesting, “If it’s on your property pick it up with some gloves on and smear it on their car door handles!”

“If it’s on your property, pick it up and toss it into their yard,” a seemingly defeated Middletown Patch reader wrote. “Really not much you can do. People are just slobs.”

About Block Talk

Block Talk is an every-other-week feature on Patch offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

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