WEIRD NEWS: The Special Nasty, Rotten, Had-Enough-of-This-Winter-Already Snow-Day Edition

The good news: You likely have the day off.

The bad news: You can't go anywhere.

So, we're dragging out a special edition of Weird News, all the Walmart insanities, animal absurdities and — wherever we can find them in the archives — naked people doing stupid things.

Here you go: A little something to warm the heart.

Weird News: Deer Goes Shopping, Piece of Ear Goes Missing, Nerds Go To Prom and a Gun Doesn’t Get on a Plane

Weird News: Dogs Working Out, 'Thrift Shop' Poolside and Goats Save Cemetery
Panda Cam Returns, Vincent Van Dog, and Familiar Faces in Robbery Footage

Weird News: Toilet Rat, Shopping Drones and ‘Soletending’ Video

Weird News: Designer Chewed Shoes for Sale, Loyal TD Bank Robber, Congress Saves on Landscaping and, Whoa, Boy!

Priest Furloughed, $330 Million Pet Costume Craze and Police Target Private Parts in Public

Weird News: Grease Proposal Flashmob, Fake Spy Bigamy Plot, Cicada Arrives Late and Mystery Drone at Firefight

Weird Virginia/DC: Cake Boss, Stuck Cat, Naked at the Marina, Woman Bites Cop

Weird Virginia/DC: Honey 'Boo Boo' Pays a Visit, a Pepper-Spraying Shoplifter and Naked at the Bus Stop

Weird Virginia: Principal Kisses Pig, Goose Starts Brush Fire, Baby Born on Road and Feeling Strongly About Fish

Weird Virginia/DC: Genitalia Assault, Bungling Burglar, Sunk Skunk and ... Yes, Virginia, There IS an Easter Bunny

Weird Virginia/DC: Strip Clubs, Snapping Turtles and the Butt Slasher Pleads Guilty