Beat a Cyberbully: Here’s How Parents Can Help

While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, parents fear that, for some students, going back to school will mean going back to being bullied.

“I was always concerned about bullying a lot,” said Christy Rezo, a Frankfort, Kentucky, mother. “We always figured it could happen, so we tried to be prepared for it.”

Now 15 years after the inception of National Bullying Prevention Month in October, technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated, and even suicidal.

What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.

This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby, or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.

For Christy Rezo and her husband Bryce, that has meant being keenly aware of what “normal” looks like for their 15-year-old son.

“The more you know your kid, the more you’ll know if something’s not right or if something’s going on in their life that’s out of the norm,” said Bryce.

Talking with kids openly — and often — helps too. “The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.

As their son entered his teens, the Rezos found that having conversations in a relaxed atmosphere worked best. “It would be while my son and I were taking a walk or driving somewhere that I would bring up a subject or ask what happened the other day,” said Christy. “When it wasn’t in an emotion-filled moment, he was more likely to open up.”

Beyond talking, listening, and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.

When the Rezos decided their son was old enough to use a smartphone, they set boundaries for what he could access. When he plays online games, they encourage him to connect with trusted friends and limit interactions with strangers.

“We help him try and decide, ‘I need to back off from this game,’ or ‘I need to get off at this point,’” said Bryce. “We’re not always going to be there, so that’s training him to be able to make those decisions himself.”

The Rezo family cited the tips and reminders they’ve considered together with their son from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The Rezos turned to one of the site’s short animated videos, “Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists,” when their son faced verbal bullying at school a few years ago. His favorite tip was to use humor to diffuse a tense situation.

“It was a matter of trying to calm him down, of saying, ‘Let’s figure out how to get around this. It’s not the end of the world; we can get through it,’” said Bryce. “The video on jw.org really worked.”