Beat a Cyberbully: Here’s How Parents Can Help

While remote learning during the COVID-19 pandemic lowered reported instances of bullying, parents fear that, for some students, going back to school will mean going back to being bullied.

“In general, bullying was always a concern as we were growing up,” say JR and Melissa Natividad of Toledo, Ohio, whose son is homeschooled and attends virtual classes online. “These days with the introduction of electronics things can happen a lot faster and go a lot further, so it’s a big concern.”

Now 15 years after the inception of National Bullying Prevention Month in October, technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives has given bullying a new outlet. With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer. As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.

What can parents do to protect their kids? Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, says the National Parent Teacher Association.

This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts. Instead, the federal stopbullying.gov site advises parents to watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.

For JR and Melissa that means being keenly aware of what “normal” looks like for their 10-year-old son. “It’s very important to know how your child is doing emotionally and mentally,” JR says. “His demeanor, body language and facial expressions can tell me how he is doing without speaking a word.” Being aware of their son’s mood helped them detect a change one day after school. “Last year when there was an incident with some kids online he was very anxious and came to us, so that opened the way for a discussion.”

Talking with kids openly — and often — helps too. “The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.

JR and Melissa talk with their son daily, show their interest in listening to him and help him feel comfortable talking with them. Explains Melissa, “It’s important to get into the habit of communicating with your child every day, asking him how his day went and how he is doing.”

Beyond talking, listening and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.

The Natividads allow their son to play online games with young ones they know, but he is not allowed to interact online with strangers. Says Melissa, “We reassure our son that we trust him, but there are restricted modes in place to protect him.” Adds JR, “We are respecting his privacy more and more as he gets older, trying to do it in a measured way as he grows.”

The family also cited tips and reminders they’ve considered together with their son from free resources available on jw.org, the official website of Jehovah’s Witnesses.

The Natividads’ son especially recommends one of the website’s short animated videos: Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists. He speaks about the aforementioned experience of being bullied by two classmates during an online class chat and then how the video helped him. “I learned that you should ignore the comments of a bully and talk to your parents or an adult,” he said. “I went to my parents and we talked about it. It made me feel a lot better about myself and what happened.”

JR also appreciates the helpfulness of this video saying, “It gives us tangible things that we can do to help a situation and talk with our son about the subject (of bullying).”