Primanti Bros. Issues Public Apology For Menu Item Quality

PITTSBURGH, PA — Describing them as "too small," "too frozen," and "not juicy enough," Pittsburgh-based Primanti Bros. has issued a public apology for the quality of its chicken wings.

In an apology posted Sunday on the Primanti Bros. Facebook page, the restaurant chain admitted "our wings just haven't been good enough."

"And you let us know. A lot. You did it in person. You did it online. It seems like someone hired a lawyer. And someone for sure took the time to take their message to several of our bathroom stall walls. The cleaning crew didn't love it - but we got the message."

The clever marketing ploy went on to say that Primanti Bros. has been tinkering with its wing recipe and is rolling out wings so good, diners will forget they used to be bad.

"They're fresher. They've never been frozen," the post stated. "They're meatier and they're juicier. And honestly - they're just really good."

Primanti Bros. then went on to invite people to try its new, improved, no-longer-sad wings.

Patrons who are still "super mad" and need to air their grievances have been invited to air them by calling 1-866-SAD-WINGS. Primanti Bros. has posted a picture of that number on a local billboard on its Facebook page as well.