Seasonal & Holidays
Quirky ‘Dad-Isms’ And Timeless Advice From Real People: Patch Father’s Day Survey Results
Whether it was offered in chats around the kitchen table or on horseback rides in the mountains, readers share their favorite "dad-isms."
Sue Terwilliger still laughs out loud at a long-ago memory of her dad.
The Geneva (Illinois) Patch reader submitted a quintessential “dad-ism” when Patch asked readers to share their favorite memories of their dads and the best advice they ever got for them for Father’s Day.
Terwilliger’s memory is so corny it’s endearingly funny, like a gentle tug at pigtails, and it’s as predictable as the arrival of the big, fat newspaper on the doorstep every Sunday morning. (Yes, dear digital natives, the Sunday paper used to be sections upon sections, including four or six pages of comics, and reading it was a family affair, a Norman Rockwell painting come to life in living rooms all over America.)
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“I always asked, ‘Can I have the funnies?’ And my dad said every time, not skipping a beat, ‘Just look in the mirror,’” Terwilliger said. “It still makes me giggle.”
The Sunday paper wasn’t the only thing they shared.
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“My dad and I had the love of watching sports together and musical theater,” she said. “I loved being in musicals and enjoyed singing like my dad.”
Terwwilliger’s and other readers’ responses to the informal survey reflect the findings of You.Gov survey that found 60 percent of America’s dads value spending time with their children over gifts
‘I Was The Remote Control’
Yorktown-Somers (New York) Patch reader Elio B. Merlino grew up at a time when there were only three or television channels and remote controls were years in the future.
“I was the remote control for the TV,” he said.
“Elio,” Salvatore Merlino would say to his son, “put it on ‘The Ed Sullivan Show.’”
Merlino said his father gave him the formula for a happy and successful life in a few words: “Keep moving forward and never give up, and to be kind and compassionate.”
“I miss him every day,” he said.
Canton (Connecticut) Patch reader Betty said her favorite dad-ism — or “Podderism, as we called them” — was his standard closing line, “I’ve already told you more than I know,” delivered any time he imparted information.
“My dad had a great sense of humor, which he passed on to me,” Betty said. “Even when I was away at college, I’d call him with the latest joke I’d heard and we'd laugh together.”
Framingham (Massachusetts) Patch reader Christine’s dad liked to kid his kid, too. “Here is a dime, go play out in traffic” was his standard line, Christine said, adding, “He had a great sense of humor.”
‘It Felt Like Time Stopped’
New Jersey Patch reader Karen McCroy’s most treasured memory of her father was when they decorated the Christmas tree on Thanksgiving Day.
“It was just us two,” she said. “It felt like time stopped, and it lasted forever, putting each decoration and garland in its exact place.”
His advice has been a trusty mantra. “You have to work hard for what you have,” he told her. “You can't get it for free.”
‘Get The Best Education You Can’
Connie Bekavac and her father may have been riding horses in the high country of Oregon’s Wallowa Mountains during one of the many summers of her youth when he offered this sage advice:
“Always get the best education you can. It’s the one thing you can always use and that no one can ever take it away from you.”
The Edgewater-Davidsonville (Maryland) Patch reader said the summers she and her dad spent riding horses were among the best times of her life.
“I loved horses, and we both loved to ride horses together,” she said. “We made tons of wonderful memories during our rides together. He always said that one of his biggest regrets in his life was not getting me a horse of my own.”
Don’t Be That Guy
Lemont (Illinois) Patch reader Kathy Bellair’s dad gave her lots of advice, some of it she agrees with, some of it she doesn’t. One dad-ism she has carried through life is, “Don’t be like the guy that says, ‘Hooray for me, and the hell with everyone else!’ In other words, think about how your actions affect the people around you.”
“I would give anything to have him here again, even for an hour — or a hug, a dose of his dry humor, his opinion of the present state of the world affairs, just to hear his voice and hold his hand,” she said. “I miss him every day.”
Some of their best times were around the big oval kitchen table that still sits in her mom’s kitchen, whether it was a story about working on a farm in Wisconsin during the summers or from his days at a firehouse in Chicago.
“From a young lad until retirement, we figured out that he worked 49 jobs, as well as being a Chicago fireman. He and my mom had 10 children. He did whatever he could to keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and clothes on our backs,” she said.
William Bellair started his working career as a car mechanic, drove a Jewel food truck for a summer, worked in a coal yard, painted homes and refinished furniture.
“If he did not know how to do a job, he researched it until he could do it,” his daughter said.
William Bellair also had hidden talents. “Something a lot of people didn’t know about him was that he was an extremely talented artist,” she said. “On a long wall in my mom’s basement is a mural of downtown Lemont as it might look in the 1930s.”
William Bellair and Wheaton (Illinois) Patch reader Ron Boksa’s dad may have gotten along.
“Hard work will never kill you,” the elder Boksa was fond of saying. It may have slipped out during one of their annual outings for a Chicago Cubs game at Wrigley Field.
“He raised me to be tough and to be a man,” Boksa said.
Enfield (Connecticut) Patch reader Crystal Tellier said that no matter the situation, “I can always turn to him.”
Don Tellier taught his daughter the value of hard work and kindness. His daughter calls him “hardworking and very knowledgeable,” and said he has a “very caring heart.”
‘Comes With A Handy-Dandy Tool Box’
Thomas O’Neill can be counted on to tell dad jokes, too.
“And we can always count on a funny ‘remember when’ story at Sunday dinners,” said Toms River (New Jersey) Patch reader Lori Stocklin.
It doesn’t matter that O’Neill is her stepfather. He’s her dad in every sense and walked her down the aisle when she got married.
“He has been in my life since I was a young adult and has been my children’s Poppy since their birth,” Stocklin said.
He’s a handyman superhero, too.
“Poppy can fix anything. He comes with handy-dandy tool box. He will dog, cat and babysit, and find lost blankets, pacifiers and runaway dogs.”
Poppy shows up. He never misses his grandchildren’s sporting and school events. “Nan and Poppy’s taxi service,” he says if one of the kids needs a ride. He put on a costume and played Santa for his great-granddaughter Brynley’s day care group — although, shush, “Brynley still does not know it's her Poppy behind the white beard.”
‘Never Trust A Turn Signal’
One thing dads are universally known for is teaching their children about cars — how to drive them, how to fix them and how to pay for them.
Across America Patch reader Steve McKilop has a classic dad-ism about that. One of his favorite memories is, “Dad telling me to prepare to part with my savings when buying my first car: 'When you have a car, you're gonna have car trouble.’”
Beverly’s dad never doled out advice as an order, but in a thoughtful way that made the Durham-Middlefield (Connecticut) Patch reader more receptive to it.
“One of the best pieces of advice he ever gave me was when I was ready to get my driver’s license and he said, ‘Never trust a person’s turn signal. Never trust that driver will stop at that red light. If you know you’re coming to a stop sign, take your foot off the gas and ease on up to it, obviously without going too slow to provoke the driver behind you. And don’t wait until the last minute to put your brake on when coming to a stop, which not only saves gas but lengthens the life of your brakes and tires.’
“I’m almost 75 and have never forgotten these words of wisdom, and to this day, still practice each and every one of these,” Beverly said.
‘Do For Your Family First’
Newton (Massachusetts) Patch reader Bill said his dad taught him the art of conversation and “how to talk with anyone and everyone.” His dad also said, “Be good, but if you can’t be good, be careful.”
New Lenox (Illinois) Patch reader Elizabeth Marchbank said her father, “a kind, loving, peaceful dad” whose mantra was, “I’ll worry about that tomorrow.”
Berwyn (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Lenny Beard said little was better than sitting down with his dad and “watching our favorite TV shows and having a couple of beers.”
His advice was simple, and an overarching theme in Father’s Day
“If you can’t do for your family first, don’t do for others.”
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