There Are Strong Opinions About Kids At Breweries: Block Talk

If a local brewery sells food and parents are prepared to, you know, actually parent, they should go ahead and bring kids a couple of decades away from legal drinking age. Otherwise, hire a sitter, according to respondents to an informal Patch survey.

We asked readers for Block Talk, Patch’s exclusive neighborhood etiquette column, if it’s OK for parents to take their underage children to local brew pubs. The question came up because breweries, which enjoy strong support among young adults of parenting age, have recently added playgrounds and geared more events around families.

“Even to ask this question seriously reflects on the moral decay of our culture,” said Westhampton-Hampton Bay (New York) Patch reader Mary.

She doesn’t frequent breweries or bars. But she is certain children don’t belong at either. Mary did not hold back a single thing.

“Responsible drinking does not equal responsible parenting. Parents have enough of a challenge raising responsible children. If you add alcohol to this scenario, you are crossing the line and inviting big trouble for you, as a parent, and for your child growing up and looking to their parents as role models,” Mary said. “DWIs are rampant. Keep the children safe and play with them at home, and develop your relationship with your own children instead of looking for an escape yourself.”

Homer Glen-Lockport (Illinois) Patch reader Bob said it’s common for parents in his area to “stop to pick up dinner for the family and then go to the brewery.”

“What kind of message is being sent to these young kids?” Bob wants to know. “I don’t believe it is ever okay, nor should parents ever take them with to a bar, either. The alcohol percentage with a lot of these beers is much higher than domestic beer.”

A Pacifica (California) Patch reader who goes by SamSpade said there was a time when it was acceptable to take kids to places where alcohol is served. When he was head of a local Moose Lodge, parents were encouraged to bring their kids to all adult functions at the bar.

“I believe this practice should stop,” SamSpade said. “Parents are sending the wrong message at an early age that drinking is acceptable at an early age.

“It’s a bad mix,” he continued. “Single adults drinking heavily, cursing, etc., while kids were exposed to those activities and more. I enjoy a drink with friends at bars, but I do not with kids in the bar!”

“Going for dinner there with your children and then leaving is one thing, but that is not what is happening,” said Bethlehem (Pennsylvania) Patch reader @2thfairy. “I see parents drinking while their kids are playing, and not watching them. They think that because there is a fence that they can drink with their friends and the kids will just magically take care of themselves.

“Then they get in their cars and drive home with a car full of kids. In today’s litigious society, it is always someone else’s fault when something happens to their child. I guess the thought of being charged with child neglect or DUI with kids in the car hasn’t occurred to them.

“Maybe it will when something happens, and they lose their children to foster care, or worse. If you need to drink and don’t have a babysitter, stay home. Invite your friends to your house. Then you can take responsibility for what happens instead of trying to blame the business after something happens.”

Murrieta (California) Patch reader Isabelle was succinct.

“It’s child neglect,” she said.

To Be ‘Present’ For Kids, Be Sober

Without allowing for the possibility that parents who do drink at breweries responsibly plan ahead by designating a driver, several readers said parents are playing fast and loose with their kids’ lives.

“Who’s driving?” Annapolis (Maryland) Patch reader Kate said. “Go to a park.”

“It sets a poor example of drinking and driving with your children, even if it is ‘just one beer,’” said Montgomeryville-Lansdale (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Jessica. “Children should not be allowed anywhere that alcohol is the main point of sale.”

“I wonder how drunk you are when you are driving your kids home,” said Denville (New Jersey) Patch reader Barb. “And who is watching your kids while your drunk ass is drinking?

“In order to be ‘present’ parents outside your home where strangers and dangers lurk, you need to be completely sober,” said Woodstock-Towne Lake (Georgia) Patch reader Lisa. “Who is driving your family home? Why are you encouraging drinking with your children present? Children learn from their parents.

“The drinking age is 21, children are not allowed to sit at a bar, so why would you incorporate your child in adult activities like this? It increases chances for accidents, kidnapping, pedophiles, etc.” Lisa continued. “We are their parents, and we have decided to have them, so we are supposed to protect them from danger, not invite them to it. Parents who bring their kids to these places are selfish because they have FOMO (fear of missing out) and want to hang out with their friends. They chose to be parents; they need to be more responsible.”

“Breweries are bars, not Montessori schools. I also think we should not be bringing our dogs either. There have been multiple incidents involving dogs not getting along with one another as well,” said Warminster (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Rob.

“Who started this stupid trend?” Malden (Massachusetts) Patch reader Jodi wondered. “Get a babysitter, or better yet, stay home and play with your kids!”

‘It Makes Drinkers Uptight’

Several respondents said adding kids to the mix ruins the experience of going to a brewery.

“These places are losing money from older folks who don’t want to be around kids,” said West Chester (Pennsylvania) Patch reader MB. “My crowd won’t go to these places. Even when the children are well-behaved, they’re only gonna be that way for a short period of time. Kids need to move around and will eventually do so. Establishments aren’t babysitters. … Keep the children at home, and those of us 50+ will return and spend money.”

“It makes drinkers uptight,” a Rhode Island Patch reader commented. “People go out to drink to get away from kids!”

“I go to wineries and breweries to relax with friends,” said Mel, a Stonington, Connecticut, resident who reads Stonington-Mystic Patch and Groton Patch. “The last thing we want to see and hear is unruly children.”

“Just because you think your kid is cute doesn’t mean others do, too,” said Echo Park-Silver Lake (California) Patch reader Veronica. “There needs to be adult-only spaces, or else stay home and drink. I avoid bars or breweries where there are obnoxious kids.”

“People, young and old, go to a pub or bar to relax, have a drink, have some conversation, watch a game, etc.,” said Falmouth (Massachusetts) Patch reader Bud. “If you can't leave your children with someone, stay home. The other patrons really don’t want your kids there. I find it an intrusion of my time and I just walk out. Sometimes, these inconsiderate people will buy me a beer as if that will make up for it. I thank them, drink the beer, and then walk out.”

‘I Have Not Been Back’

“It’s like getting stuck next to a family with unruly little ones in an airplane — very uncomfortable,” said Marilyn, a Michigan Patch reader who lives in northern Oakland County outside Detroit.

“The kids are generally running, screaming, throwing things, etc. 90 percent of the time,” she said. “The parents are having a great time with each other and friends and while not always, in general they are not paying attention. It’s their day or night out. I see this all the time at a local brewery near home.”

L, a Santa Cruz (California) Patch reader, said her experience is similar. She once watched an unattended child pull on a dog’s ear, causing it to growl.

“The dog and the family got kicked out,” L said. “I said something to the owner of the brewery about parents not watching the child, and he defended the parents, not the couple with the dog. I have not been back.”

Children should never be allowed in breweries, L said, using no fewer than 15 exclamation points for emphasis.

“Not OK,” said Catonsville (Maryland) Patch reader Diana. “If parents want to go to a brewery, they need to find a babysitter.

“Children do not belong in breweries, pubs, taverns, bars or whatever name you want to give a place with the goal to make adults comfortable and serve alcohol, Diana continued. “Parents taking their children to these places are only thinking of themselves and setting a poor example for their children.”

Owners of breweries that have made accommodations for families with children “are just greedy and will do what it takes to make the next dollar,” Diana said, adding, “Until a child gets seriously hurt.”

‘It Was Horrifying’

Lavallette (New Jersey) Patch reader Mom has something to say about that.

“I was at a brewery with my 25-year-old kids and this kid fell off a barstool and smashed his face on the cement. It was horrifying. The mom and dad put a cold rag on his bloody face and continued to sip their IPAs,” Mom said. “We left and never went back. Bars and breweries are for adults, not kids. Have your kids parties at home and spare us.”

“People carrying a handful of beers can easily trip over a kid running around, especially if they are starting to feel the effects of the brews,” said Minnesota Patch reader Mamc. “Screamers. It’s nerve wracking to be enjoying a couple drafts with my wife and have to listen to kids running around having fun.”

‘Get A Babysitter’

Doylestown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Dianne said there’s a big difference between a restaurant whose business is primarily food and a brewery that makes most of its money in beer sales.

“If parents want to go out and drink with their children, go to a restaurant where they are in a booth or high chair. If not, get a babysitter, like we all did.”

“Children should not be at breweries,” Dianne said. “I almost tripped over an unattended 3-year-old.”

This is not the environment for youngsters. This is an adult playground,” said Stonington-Mystic (Connecticut) Patch reader Bug.

“I don’t want to go out to be worried about tripping over kids. I want to relax without worrying about Little Johnny,” Bug said. “Also, I’ve seen divorced dads bring their poor kids to bars, they’re lost in the chatting crowd, and it’s way past their bedtime. They are not having fun! Breweries are not for ‘drinkers in training.’”

Even if the parents stay sober, they have no control over other patrons.

“It’s not OK to have children around alcohol and people who are potentially drunk,” said Middleton (New Jersey) Patch reader Lisa. “Children and alcohol should never mix. People who drink become too relaxed and forget they are parents. If you have to drink, make it a date night and get a babysitter. Don’t make it a family event. Be a role model for your kids.”

“It’s fine when people like me do it, but it is uncomfortable when kids are having tantrums and scary when parents aren’t properly supervising,” said Old Town Alexandria (Virginia) Patch reader T.

‘A Society Unfriendly To Families’

El Cerrito (California) Patch reader Lynn is “on the fence.”

“Sometimes it seems fine, and I’m happy for families to have a space to come to,” Lynn said. “Other times, it seems like it’s a creepy way to normalize drinking, and it doesn’t seem very healthy for kids to be around adults getting intoxicated.”

Pennsylvania Patch reader Carol said whether kids should be allowed in breweries with their parents depends on their age.

“If parents bring toddlers, that’s too young. Older children with manners are fine,” said Carol. “We have a wonderful memory of eating and then playing cards with our son at age 11 in a historic bar and restaurant on vacation in Cooperstown. The World Series was on the TV — and then the earthquake struck.”

Andrea, a Connecticut Patch reader, said the answer lies in parents’ willingness to keep an eye on their kids.

“There’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to go out, have a couple of beers and relax just because you have young children,” Andrea said. “But they’re your children, so no one else, but you, are responsible to keep an eye on them for safety and to make sure they aren't disturbing other patrons.”

“We take our kids to breweries a lot,” said Chelsea (Michigan) Patch reader Blinky. “The food tends to be agreeable for everyone, and parents can enjoy a craft beer or two. They serve alcohol at restaurants. What’s the difference?”

Danielle, a Holliston-Hopkinton (Massachusetts) Patch reader, also thinks it’s fine to take kids to breweries that serve food, but draws the line at bars.

“Parents need low-pressure places to bring kids. A metro-west brewery has video games, outdoor space, food, and an awesome atmosphere for families to hang out,” she said. “It’s wonderful. Kids are welcome as long as they don't sit at the bar. Parents welcome the casual place to hang that’s not a traditional restaurant and not a fast-food or kid-centric place.”

“I honestly like seeing parents bring along kiddos to bars and breweries. As long as parents are watching the kids, and the kids are good-natured, I have no problem with it,” said Newtown (Pennsylvania) Patch reader Lizzie.

“It would be dreadful if a handful of irresponsible grownups ruined a good thing for so many others,” said Mill Valley (California) Patch reader Hilary, who lives near a biergarten that serves food.

“It’s a great place for families to meet up with friends, and, yes, it has a well-used playground,” she said.

A Carrollwood-Northdale (Florida) Patch reader said families with children “should be welcomed in the same sense that pets are accommodated.” That means supervision, so neither is “loud or aggressively active or intrusive to others,” the reader said.

“Those parents must understand this is a place of food and drink, and not perform diaper-changes at tables or anywhere other than provided bathrooms. Those parents [and pet owner] must acknowledge they are on private property, and have only the ‘rights’ provided by the owners — and must mitigate/remove kids/pets/parents who are not abiding by the rules of conduct,” the reader added.

“I think we’ve created a society that is incredibly unfriendly to families with small children,” said Lauren, a Del Ray (Virginia) Patch reader. “There are very few public places where adults with small children can go to socialize that are friendly for the whole family. In other parts of the world, it is common for bars and restaurants to have playgrounds. What if we hold parents accountable instead of letting a few bad actors ruin it for everyone?

“We are a lonely, isolated society,” Lauren continued. “We need to start agreeing on and enforcing a social contract that prioritizes coexistence: give kids and their parents some grace, while holding parents accountable for behavior that is dangerous or negatively affects the experience of others.”

Only In America …

A few other readers said Americans are uptight about alcohol when compared with other parts of the world

“In Switzerland, children are allowed in pubs and breweries. I’ve seen newborns and young children there with their parents,” said West Orange (New Jersey) Patch reader Ann. “It’s all about getting out and socializing for both parents and children. The children with parents supervising were at tables playing board games, coloring, and behaving, not running around.”

“America is the only developed country in the world where people don’t really like kids being in public,” said Sara, who reads New York City Patch and lives on the Upper East Side. “Kids at beer halls and pubs is normal elsewhere. Bad behavior is the problem, independent of where the child hangs out that day.”

Sara said taking the kids along to a brewery is “absolutely OK, especially in relaxed or outdoor settings.”

“If kids misbehave (like some adults at bars do, all the time), parents can be asked to change their behavior or leave,” Sara said. “Drinking is one of the single most common social activities in the country, and it’s integrated into practically everything in some way. To shun parents from that is selfish and entitled.”

Ameria, a Wisconsin Patch reader who lives in Delafield, said it was common to see kids in pubs in Ireland, but added that “children were so quiet, you didn’t know they were there.”

“In the U.S., parents don’t watch their children very well, let them wander, and they disturb others with their noise,” Ameria said. “It’s a cultural difference, so parents are responsible, not breweries and must be adult about it, not blame others.”

About Block Talk

Block Talk is a regular Patch feature offering real-world advice from readers on how to resolve everyday neighborhood problems. If you have a neighborhood etiquette question or problem you'd like for us to consider, email beth.dalbey@patch.com, with Block Talk as the subject line.

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